Well-meaning parents all across the globe put a heavy emphasis on how well their children preform academically. They instill the importance of excelling in the classroom into their children from a young age, with hopes that their children will get the most out of their education and go on to earn degrees, followed by prestigious jobs that provide impressive paychecks. Many parents can get so swept up in their child’s grade point average, class ranking and latest test score that they forget something very important. They forget that for these young, impressionable minds, learning is supposed to be fun and exciting. Questions and experiments and asking questions are how children really learn. Failing is how people really learn. But in the quest for having the smartest child, the emphasis for the love of learning slowly fades. Children who once loved to learn are now so focused on doing what they need to do to get the highest grade. They have been programmed to quit while they are ahead instead of trying something new or difficult, in fears that they may mess up their perfect streak.
In an article entitled “When Success Leads To Failure” the author points out there is a lot of learning that happens when children make mistakes. When they stick with a math problem even after getting it wrong over and over, or when the research they’ve been working on for a project leads to a dead end, they have failed. Instead of being praised for sticking with it and learning from their mistakes, they are expected not to make them. Children who are scared to fail will begin to participate less in class, in fear that they will say something wrong and therefore tarnish their reputation as being the best or smartest in the class. They begin to struggle to write rough drafts or vocalize a hypothesis because they don’t want to be wrong. And all of this creates high achieving students who don’t love to learn.
How, then, as parents, can we foster our children’s love of learning while also encouraging them to do their very best? We can start with being honest with ourselves. Do we measure our worth as parents on how well our children are doing in school? Are we trying to give our children the educational push we wish we had had growing up? We must be honest with ourselves and do our best to put our children’s’ long-term success before our short term pride. We also must remember that anyone, being pushed to do anything, will eventually hit a wall. There is a fine line between encouragement and pressure, and children who feel too much pressure and feel that the expectations set for them are impossible, will eventually stop trying. We need to realize that they are still kids, and although we know their potential and want only the best, the worst thing we could do is crush their love for learning. We must teach them that there is so much to be learned in making mistakes. There is so much growth and character building that comes from set backs, roadblocks and failures. We need to teach our children that although being the best feels good, there is a much bigger and more fulfilling feeling that comes from sticking with something, facing fears, and being willing to make mistakes.
We cannot continue to value certificates and trophies and awards over natural curiosity, a love for learning and a desire for self-improvement. We must remember to let our kids fail, to be there to help them up, and to cheer them on along the way. This is how we create a generation of students with a zest for knowledge and an excitement to learn.
http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2015/08/when-success-leads-to-failure/400925/